Monday, 10 December 2012

Exclusive: UK Conservative MPs seek independence from Scotland

President of the European Commission (EC) José Barroso has told the BBC that, should part of a nation such as the United Kingdom vote to secede and become an independent state, they would have to reapply for EU membership as a new state.

The interview was greeted by a flurry of activity from Conservative backbenchers, who this morning announced proposals for a referendum, positing the following question to British voters:

"Do you agree with our proposal that England, Wales and Northern Ireland should become independent countries, maintaining close ties and a shared currency with the rest of the Union, north of Hadrian's Wall?"

Eurosceptic MP Conor Burns commented, "Yes, of course, this would force England, Wales and Northern Ireland to reapply for EU membership as new states. However, we feel that the time is right for this change and we hope that the English, Welsh and Northern Irish publics agree with us."

Nadine Dorries MP, back in the UK after her first holiday in over a decade - which she spent in Australia enjoying local delicacies such as camel toe and ostrich anus - added, "I just think it's right, you know, that the people of England, Wales and Northern Ireland should be given this opportunity to say no to an out-of-touch Westminster government run by posh boys who don't know the price of milk, or for that matter, how to cook lamb's testicles. You know what I mean?"

Another party, the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), has long campaigned for such a renegotiation. Their spokesman said, "This isn't quite what we had in mind, but by jove, it's worth a shot."

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